she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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