Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
