PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
