So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
