I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
