Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
