there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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