your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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