Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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