Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
