im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize