haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
