and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
