It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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