On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
