I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
