i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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