I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
