Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
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Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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