nut hugger
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
