If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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