My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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