My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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