Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
