I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize