he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Houston, we have a squirter
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
