just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
