guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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