Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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