I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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