Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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