My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
