Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Even my vagina gasped.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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