is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
