i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
