I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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