Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
