You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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