Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
