spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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