Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
