I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
