for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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