I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
