His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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