I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
