i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
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