Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
