ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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