apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize