you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
