I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she looked like the before picture.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Less talking, more tequila
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
