Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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