Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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