no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
