I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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