THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
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ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
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