Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
