It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
the liver wants what the liver wants
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
