He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
