We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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