he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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