fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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