If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize