Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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