Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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