I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
