He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
