also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
